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General Beer Hater Tries Non-Alcoholic Malt


Nothing like coming home from a long day at work and cracking open an ice cold…...non alcoholic malt beverage. While this thought in particular might not be one that crosses your mind often, it’s the one running through mine tonight as I end my day sampling a Heavenly Body Golden Wheat beer by WB Brewing Co, a whole 12 ounces of beer with less than .5% alcohol per bottle. For me, this is all the taste I dislike in beer without the added pleasure of getting buzzed. For someone else, a beverage like this could be a godsend. We all know alcohol is bad for you. Overexposure will leave your liver looking like a mess to your doctor, nobody feels great the morning after a drink too many, and some people have negative experiences with any amount of alcohol all together. But it’s hard to go out with friends and walk around with a water, so for some, the Golden Wheat Beer could be the perfect alternative to their normal bud light on a night out. It looks like beer, it’s bottled like beer, it’s labeled like beer, but does it taste like beer? Lucky for you, Gaslight hired the most unqualified alcohol consumer in the business to help you find out.

First thing's first, you have to open this drink with a bottle opener (or a lighter, if you’re like me and lost your bottle opener last summer during a day drinking session on your friend’s front porch). I admire the attention to detail, even if it forced me to to MacGyver mine open. First sniff smelled like the sticky floors of the bars I know so well, which is an excellent sign, considering those floors are more often than not splashed with the finest craft beers this side of the Missouri river. I’ll admit there is something comforting about holding a bottle of something that tastes like alcohol knowing it will have absolutely no effect on the rest of my evening or morning after. The beer without the bad...it’s clear WB Brewing Co. should have hired me to create their marketing slogan.

Heavenly Body tastes like beer, and it tastes good. I’m frazzled knowing that my favorite beer on the great ‘Girl Who Hates Beer Tries Beer’ tour of 2018 has been the one that contains less alcohol than the Kombucha I chug from Whole Foods when I’m hungover, but in this blog, we’re a family based on honesty, and I’m honestly telling you that I did not pour the majority of this beverage down the sink after taking a few sips. It’s a big breakthrough moment on my part.

A non alcoholic beer may seem absurd to anyone used to drinking regularly, but when you really think about it, there is probably a huge number of consumers waiting for something like this. Some people don’t like the negative effects of drinking but, unlike me, love the taste of beer. Some people can’t drink and need an alternative. Some people might need a break in between beverages but don’t want it to feel like one. The options vary here, but they seem pretty extensive. In my opinion, there is no true negative to carrying a great tasting non-alcoholic beer in a bar, because it gives people the chance to have that beer drinking experience without compromising anything. You’re not going to feel left out with Heavenly Body in your hand. It looks like beer, it’s bottled like beer, it’s labeled like beer, and yes, it even tastes like a beer. Don’t believe me? Pick one up at Gaslight next time you’re in and let me know if you can taste the difference.

Rebecca Davis is a current content producer for Gaslight. She graduated from Illinois State University in 2017 with a degree in journalism. Rebecca loves dive bars, singing 'Linger' by The Cranberries at karaoke, and pineapple on her pizza. Her dislikes include the Trader Joe's parking lot, accidentally falling asleep with socks on, and summing up her personality in third person self-written author bios.


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